How to get rid of loneliness?
We live in big cities, we travel in transport and we walk the streets with a large number of people, we work in offices along with dozens or even hundreds of employees. We spend the whole day talking on the phone, talking with friends and strangers, asking, agreeing, interested in something. We have no lack of communication, but here’s a paradox: in spite of all this, we have a feeling of loneliness.
Loneliness today is a common phenomenon, and it so happened that it is evaluated negatively. People are afraid of loneliness and do not know how to get rid of the feeling of loneliness. If this feeling oppresses you, then undoubtedly, loneliness should leave your life, the question is how to do it. Let's try to break this problem into several parts and even try to solve each part separately.
Acceptance of the fact of loneliness
Do not be afraid to admit to yourself that you are alone. Do not be afraid that you are alone. It is important to understand that a person can not always be with someone, there are periods in life associated with loneliness as an attitude to himself.This is birth, growing up or adolescence, when it seems that you are alone, and no one understands you, the period when children grow up and leave home, and the last minutes just before the end.
Change in attitude
Yes, now you are alone or alone, but is it bad? Find the advantages of your current situation. You finally have time for yourself, and you can do what you once dreamed of: learning French, embroidering a picture with a cross, learning how to dance a belly dance, going to Tibet, and so on.
It is important to understand that in loneliness as such there is nothing wrong. In the rhythm of modern turbulent life, many seek to be in silence, alone. Do not regard their position with a minus sign. You are not alone because you are bad, it's just a temporary coincidence. In our society, if you are not married and have no children, they begin to feel sorry for you and look for shortcomings. You do not need to listen to anyone except your inner voice. If you are so comfortable, do not strive to adapt to stereotypes.
Loneliness is a good reason to comprehend everything that happened and is happening to you now.You now have time to rethink your life experience, to reassess all your values. Often, only after a long time alone, a person begins to appreciate those who are near him.
Look for the reasons for your loneliness
Often thinking how to get rid of the fear of loneliness, you find yourself in a vicious circle. Similar attracts like. You are afraid of loneliness, and it constantly follows you. Do not waste your time on empty fears. Engage in introspection.
- Perhaps you are selfish and people do not want to communicate with you.
- Or are you too focused on someone else's opinion and live only for others, which can not be done. You have lost yourself, and your loneliness is a chance to find yourself again, to change your behavior with people. Learn to appreciate yourself, and people will begin to appreciate you.
- Perhaps you are afraid to open up to another person for fear that they will not understand you. But if you are not understood once, this does not mean that you will never be understood. Only through trial and error can you find people close to yourself.
- Or are you constantly afraid that you will be offended, abandoned, that they will leave you. Constantly keeping a person near you on a leash and not letting him breathe freely, you will certainly lose this person. With this style of communication, you will soon have no one left at all.
In general, there are many reasons, you just need to carefully examine yourself and find these reasons. If you don’t do it yourself, you can turn to outside help, such as a psychologist, who will advise you how to get rid of loneliness.
When you know the reason for your loneliness, you can begin to change yourself. Most likely, this will be a difficult task, but if your goal is the answer to the question of how to get rid of loneliness, then you should not give up, you should definitely solve your problem. You do not know how to communicate with people - buy special literature, read and practice. Unsuccessfully looking for the location of people who do not support you - leave them alone, find another social circle.
No need to sit and wait when people themselves want to communicate with you, you need to independently look for new friends and friends: at work, in the clinic, among the parents of your child’s classmates, in the fitness center or in the dance circle (by the way, this is a good reason to sign up ), in courses, in the pool, in general, anywhere.
Be open, smile, be interested in the life of other people, strive for communication, do not withdraw into yourself.Do not position yourself as a lonely and unhappy person; look not for pity, but for interesting communication on equal terms. Imagine yourself as a person surrounded by a large number of friends or near your loved one, and what you want is not long in coming.
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